Before you moved I was slightly obsessed with the idea that I could grasp your attention, but your retention rate with me in it was virtually slim. I last remember the rain and picking you up, letting you drive my car, and calling you at night wanting to keep you sane. I guess some things since then have changed when I realized that everything I did was in vain. The only affection I would receive was pain and a six letter word resulting in friend. Of course you would confide in me but only to make me jealous by telling me stories of other men when I clearly stated that I like you. Yet I still don’t know if it was right to cut you out of my life like a price tag on an article of clothing I just bought. The moments, the bubble tea that we shared, the smiles that were rarely seen but I got were enough for my heart. Yet like a rising single on the charts I felt that I was over-played and like a flight from Laguardia Airport my emotions were most likely delayed stuck on the moment thinking time and persistence were on my side. When your resistance to acknowledge my heartfelt affections were like a roller coaster ride. And me being afraid of heights wanted you a down to Earth girl to like me, but I guess it’s okay that I let go of that idea ever so slightly.
Walking turns into running and running turns into chasing. I’m placing my foot in front of the other foot like I’m racing. My heartbeats very steady yet thoughts in my mind are pacing. Indiana/Miami. Pacers versus the Heat. I listen before I speak, when situations are bleak. People calling me meek they follow me in their sleep. I’m gunning like I’m forthcoming; awaiting anticipation. To finish before diminished with gatorade to replenish but I’m tired. Wired like on coffee and a dream. I need a genie in a bottle so I can wish for self-esteem. This schemes taking a toll life’s prison I’m on parole. Yet I’m still moving my legs like I put on cruise control. So fuck it. Life is like a marathon I’m hoping we all get along from New Jersey to Hong Kong. Pokemon theme song, I wanna be the very best. But there is no contest, just me myself and conquest; mission. And instead of running endless with ambition one day I’ll learn the trick to do an instant transmission.
I’m trying my hardest to stay true to myself, but I can’t help but wanting to change when standing in front of you.I ask myself what would you do if I was a different person, if I could do courageous feats to spark your interest. Would you let out your arms and let me hold you like my damsel in distress. My princess, my lady, my love, my dream. Or would you forget everything and help lower my self-esteem. I mean I am but a serving boy to the almighty queen. Hindered by the fact that your predisposed king is nothing like me physically; your first impression. Tall, slender, and slim but too dark skinned. I can’t change, and I accept that. Yet I refuse to stay dormant like a placemat. I come equipped and ready for combat because loving you is a battle. And here I come ready for war. So I say change is inevitable. And they say by changing nothing, nothing changes. Thus by wearing many faces I thought you would see all of my expressions. Happy, sad, sexy, mad, loving, playful, lustful, bad. Yet I have a shy side so you become my heavy obsession followed shortly by a heavy oppression rather than my ready confession with no further progression even though I try. And even though I believe I’m that guy, many people have died on the battlefield fighting for what they believe in. I myself a victim.
I want someone to be all couple-y with.
Someone I could wake up really early in the morning just to get breakfast with.
Someone I would take 20 minutes picking out the perfect outfit to wear and another 30 on doing my hair and be all nervous for on our date each and every time, but also someone I…
